How to Choose the Right Ski Confidence Coach - It Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All for Midlife Women
- Sarah Gilbertson
- Oct 30
- 9 min read
You don’t need me to tell you there are some brilliant ski instructors out there. The ones who quietly clock what you need, create calm in the chaos of a busy slope, and somehow manage a mixed-pace group without anyone feeling like ‘the slow one’. If you’ve ever skied with one, you’ll know the difference it makes.
I still remember a week in Tignes with a coach we affectionately called 'Fun' James. It was one of my first trips back after spinal surgery. Fresh snow, a fantastic group - those prone to snow rabies, itching to dive in, the more contemplative, taking it in their stride - and me somewhere in the middle, rebuilding trust in my skiing.
What made James exceptional wasn’t a pep talk or a clever mindset trick. It was the way he gave me time, space and agency.
On the lift: a moment to look at the terrain. At the top: a chance to breathe, to see the line, to ask a question. On the descent: he kept the group moving but never rushed the decision points that mattered for me.
I didn't feel babied or sidelined. I felt included, resourced and trusted.
That's the quiet architecture of confidence: when your body feels safe enough, your skiing follows.
I've had the other kind of experience too - being hurried, talked at, or given 'just stay positive' advice that didn't meet me where I was that day.
And along the way, I've also sought other types of support to reconnect with my confidence - and with a new version of 'me'. That began as part of my Diploma in Therapeutic Coaching for Women. I found talking therapy invaluable on many levels. And, if you're going to hold space for others, you need self-awareness, clear boundaries, and a place to process what arises. It's part of ethical practice.
That training clarified something: I'm a qualified ski instructor and a Therapeutic Coach, which means I understand both the skiing side and the nervous system side. But what I offer isn't ski instruction or mindset coaching - it's the body-based layer that sits between them. That's where many midlife women actually need support - and where most ski confidence approaches don't go.
Which brings me to the point of this guide.
When someone says 'ski confidence coaching', they could mean any number of things. And that's where it gets confusing.
Because the term covers everything from on-snow support to off-snow approaches - and they work in very different ways.
What 'Ski Confidence Coaching' Actually Means
On-Snow Support
This is where you're usually working with someone whilst you're actually skiing.
BASI-qualified instructors who focus on building confidence alongside technique. They'll focus on giving you time, consolidating your skills, matching terrain to where you are, building positive experiences gradually. Confidence grows through doing - safely, steadily, with someone who understands progression.
Coaching programmes (such as those offered by the Warren Smith Ski Academy and others) that blend ski technique with movement and body awareness. The Academy is well known for its biomechanics-informed approach, helping skiers understand how their body moves and how improving that movement leads to more control, performance - and confidence on snow.
All-women ski clinics and weeks (i've still got my eye on a Gutsy Girls trip....). These can be brilliant for the "ah yes, you're feeling that too" moment, providing relief and validation for your own feelings. You're not the only one. That shared experience matters - it normalises what you're going through and creates space to ski without performance pressure.
Pre-season sessions at UK indoor snow centres like The Snow Centre Manchester. A chance to get your ski legs back, refresh technique, and ease into the season without the expense or pressure of a full trip.
All of these work through skiing itself - building skill, positive experiences, and a sense of confidence on snow.
Off-Snow Support
This is where you're working with someone away from the slopes - often online, sometimes in person.
Mindset and cognitive approaches: NLP, EFT, hypnotherapy, visualisation, sports psychology, CBT-based tools. These focus on thoughts, beliefs and mental strategies. In the right context, they can be incredibly effective - especially for performance anxiety, overthinking, perfectionism, or rebuilding confidence after a setback. Many skiers find visualisation and mental rehearsal really helpful in preparing for a trip or returning to a familiar slope.
Nervous system-informed coaching - Nervous System Literacy™ (my approach): This addresses what happens when you catch yourself bracing before the first turn, tense on the lift, worrying you're holding others up - even though you know how to ski.
That isn't a lack of confidence. It's your body protecting you after injury, hormonal changes, or time away.
I help you understand what your body's telling you, respond to what it needs, and build capacity for genuine choice about how, where, and with whom you ski.
The real skill is matching the support to what you actually need
How to Choose a Ski Confidence Coach:What to Look For
These criteria apply primarily to off-snow support (mindset coaching, nervous system-informed work). For on-snow instruction, the assessment is simpler - look for instructors who work with nervous or returning skiers, and trust your gut in that first lesson.
1. A coach who understands midlife bodies and capacity
Confidence at 25 is not the same as confidence at 45 or 55.
Hormones, sleep, stress, injury history and life load all affect capacity. And skiing is an amplified environment - if you're already stretched, things can go sideways quickly on snow.
Look for: Someone who understands that capacity fluctuates.
2. Someone who educates, not fixes
You don't need fixing. Your body is doing its job - protecting you after injury, hormonal changes, or time away.
The right coach helps you understand what's happening and why. Not "here's the solution", but "here's what's going on in your nervous system, here's why your body responds this way, here's what might help".
Look for: Someone who guides rather than directs. Who helps you understand what's happening - not hands you a formula to follow.
3. A good fit matters (that's why discovery calls exist)
One size doesn't fit all. You can't coach with your ego -it has to be the right match.
Most off-snow coaches offer a discovery or connection call for exactly this reason: to see if you can work together, if the approach feels right, if the chemistry is there.
Look for: Someone who offers a conversation first - not just a booking form. Who acknowledges when they're not the right fit.
4. Clear scope - and they refer on when needed
There's a difference between confidence coaching, nervous system understanding, and therapy.
A responsible coach knows their scope. When technique is the issue, they'll point you toward instruction. When trauma is deeply affecting daily life or harmful coping patterns are present, they'll refer to a therapist.
Look for: Someone who talks about working alongside other professionals, not replacing them. Who doesn't claim to fix everything.
5. You lead, they guide
The right coach doesn't have all the answers. You do.
They're there to help you understand what your body's telling you, offer tools (breathwork, movement, guided meditations, nervous system education), and support you in moving forward however you want to.
Look for: Someone who asks good questions rather than handing you answers. Who trusts that you know what you need.
6. A first conversation where you exhale
Your first conversation tells you everything.
Did you feel heard?
Did they explain what they do in language you understood?
Did you feel like a capable person whose body just needs support - or like a problem they're itching to fix?
If you felt a sense of relief whilst talking to them, you're onto something good.
When I'm Not the Right Fit
This comes back to one-size doesn't fit all. I know i'm not the right fit for everyone and I refer people on regularly. It’s not about collecting clients - it’s got to work for all concerned so take advantage of those free discovery calls if they're offered and have a chat.
I’m not the right person if:
You primarily need technique coaching. If the issue is that you don’t know how to control your edges on ice or you’re unsure about steeps, a ski instructor or coach offering lessons or courses on snow will serve you better right now. Get the technique and movement patterns sorted first - confidence often follows.
You're dealing with unresolved trauma that's significantly impacting daily life. I'm trauma-aware through my therapeutic coaching training, but when trauma is affecting you beyond skiing, a BACP-registered therapist or healthcare professional is the right starting point.
You want someone to tell you exactly what to do. My work is about helping you find your voice, reconnect to your body so you can make your own choices - not following a script.
I AM the right fit if:
You’re navigating injury recovery, perimenopause, or major life transitions and where skiing is concerned, you feel you're disconnected from your confidence. It might have roots in an injury, a bad experience on snow, time away or hormonal changes that impact trust in our body and our sense of self.
You’ve tried mindset approaches and have some tools to use. They have helped a bit - but you feel stuck skiing 'small' and want to have more choice to expand how you ski and what you ski . You may need to work at a different depth - exploring how the nervous system can become dysregulated, limiting your capacity to ski on your own terms.
Midlife woman skier carrying skis on her shoulder and looking out over the mountains, reflecting on rebuilding ski confidence.
You sense there’s more going on than just ‘I lost confidence after my accident’. Often what shows up as ski anxiety is tangled up with other things - inner critic, boundaries, not feeling seen or heard, hormonal shifts, the invisible pressure of not wanting to hold others back. In our sessions, you lead. I guide and support, providing insight and tools where appropriate.
You want genuine choice, not just comfort within limits. The goal isn’t to keep you calm on green runs when you’re capable of reds or blacks. It’s to widen your window of tolerance so you can choose where and how you ski - so fear doesn't keep you skiing 'small'.
You’re willing to go deeper. Understanding our nervous system and connecting to the physical signals that our bodies send us all the time is a game changer. It's a light bulb moment and once you have embodied 'felt' confidence, the brain is quick to jump onboard
What working together looks like:
We meet online via Zoom for four 60-minute sessions, usually weekly. You lead the conversation - I listen, watch, and ask questions. I'm paying attention to what your body's doing as much as what you're saying: your expressions whilst talking about something difficult? Shrugging things off? Do your reactions and words line up?
I reflect back what I'm noticing - not to analyse you, but to help you see patterns you might not be aware of. I help you notice what's happening in your body - the tightness in your chest when you talk about that fall, the way your shoulders rise when you mention holding the group back. Learning to read these signals is how you rebuild trust in your body.
Together, we explore what your body's communicating, and I offer tools where helpful - breathwork, guided meditations, nervous system education. Email support between sessions means you're not alone when things come up.
The goal isn't to "fix" you in four sessions. It's to give you the understanding and tools to keep building capacity long after our time together ends.
If you’ve read this far and you’re nodding along, we might be a good fit.
A Quick Checklist Before You Book Anyone
After that first conversation, ask yourself:
✓ Did I feel listened to?
✓ Did they explain their approach in plain language?
✓ Do they understand what life looks like for women my age
✓ Did they offer me choices - or tell me what I ‘should’ do?
✓ Did they give clarity on their pricing?
✓ Did I feel like I could say ‘no’ or ‘not yet’ ?
✓ Do they have a contract laying out clearly how coaching works (for off-snow support)
✓ Could they name when their approach might not be what I need?
If most of those aren’t a confident yes, keep looking.
Ready to explore if this approach is right for you?
Book a complimentary consultation:→ Book a Call
Related Resources:
For Women: → Nervous System Tools
For ski professionals: Interested in bringing Nervous System Literacy™ into your teaching?→ For Ski Pros
About Sarah
Sarah Gilbertson is a Therapeutic Coach (Diploma in Therapeutic Coaching), BASI-qualified Ski Instructor, and founder of FlourishWell Coaching.
With 8+ years' experience across European ski resorts, she's worked in chalet operations, resort management, and ski instruction. A lifelong skier (since age 4), she rebuilt her own confidence after back surgery and through perimenopause in her 40s - and now helps women reconnect with their confidence through nervous system-informed coaching, whilst also working with ski professionals to bring this understanding into their teaching.
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Skiing Anxiety After 40: What's Really Going On - For midlife women navigating the space between who they were on the slopes and who they're becoming
Teaching Anxious Skiers: What to Do When Clients Go Silent - For ski professionals: understanding nervous system responses on snow
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