What Do You Do When You Feel Lost in Life?
- Sarah Gilbertson
- Oct 14
- 3 min read
We don’t talk enough about those seasons when life suddenly feels untethered. You’re getting through the days, but underneath there’s a quiet question: Where am I going?
I’ve had that feeling more than once – after back surgery, when my old routines and strength were gone, and again during perimenopause, when I felt like a stranger in my own skin. Both times, what got me through wasn’t pretending I was fine or forcing myself to ‘stay positive’. It was learning to listen differently – to my body, my nervous system, and what I actually needed instead of what I thought I should be doing.
If you’re here because you typed what do you do when you feel lost in life? into Google at 2am, you’re not broken. You’re human. Here’s why it happens – and what can help.
Why We Sometimes Feel Lost
Feeling lost isn’t weakness. It’s your body and brain telling you something isn’t lining up. That might be:
A big change – grief, illness, menopause, or shifting identity.
Exhaustion – carrying so much for others that you can’t hear yourself anymore.
Disconnection – from routines, passions, or people that once anchored you.
Deb Dana, who writes about how our nervous systems guide us, says our state shapes our story. When you feel unsafe or depleted, your ‘story’ becomes one of confusion or despair. When you feel steadier, the story shifts – not because everything is fixed, but because your body finally has capacity to see options.
Further Reading: It’s Not Burnout. It’s Bandwidth
How Do You Find Yourself Again When You’re Feeling Lost in Life?
Not by reinventing your whole life overnight. Most people don’t ‘find themselves’ through a grand gesture – it happens through small shifts that rebuild capacity.
Allow it, don’t apologise for it We often rush to say, ‘I shouldn’t feel this way’. But lostness is part of being human. Naming it honestly can be the first anchor.
Notice what your body is telling you Are you exhausted? Restless? Numb? Often what feels like being lost is your nervous system signalling overload. Learning to regulate – through breath, grounding, or movement – is the first step back.
Focus on one micro-moment – not the big picture When you’re lost, you don’t need to redraw your whole map. Choose one small thing that steadies you – a walk, a call, a class – and let that micro-moment carry you forward. Small choices widen capacity more than grand plans.
Further Reading: The Grief You Didn’t Know You Were Carrying
Practical Ways to Reconnect
Connect with others Talk to someone you trust. Join a group or class where you don’t need to perform – just show up. Loneliness magnifies lostness.
Move your body (gently) I don’t mean hammering the gym. Even one Pilates class or mindful walk can reconnect you with yourself. Your body often finds direction before your brain catches up.
Rituals of presence As Claire Bidwell Smith calls them, small daily rituals – journalling, tea before bed, lighting a candle – remind you that you’re still here.
Professional support If lostness has tipped into despair, reach out. The NHS Mental Health Services page is a starting point. You can also search the Hub of Hope to find local support.
Final Thoughts
Feeling lost isn’t failure. It’s feedback.
When you stop shaming yourself for being lost, you can start listening – to your body, your needs, and those small micro-moments that help you feel steadier again.
You don’t need the whole map today. Just the next step.
About Sarah
Sarah Gilbertson is a Therapeutic Coach and founder of FlourishWell Coaching. She helps women navigate midlife change, recovery, and confidence – blending nervous system literacy with real-world tools to rebuild trust in themselves.
With a background in movement teaching and coaching, Sarah’s approach is body-first, grounded, and practical.
Safeguarding Note
This article is for information only and is not a substitute for medical advice. If you’re struggling with your mental health, please speak to your GP or a qualified professional.
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